Every one of us, young and old, likes to be thought of as cool.  The easiest and best way to be considered cool is not to actually be cool, but to get accepted by people who are considered cool.

That’s why being a Christian is so cool.  Because Jesus is considered cool.  But you’ve got to be careful because many Christians are not considered cool.

So, a little word of advice might be helpful here.  If you want to be a cool Christian, always do a quick assessment when you see someone you’ve not met before - especially at church.  Make it your goal to get accepted by the attractive, highly functioning people, by whatever means is at your disposal.  If you can do that, you will be considered cool.  And above all else, avoid association with the too needy, too nerdy or too nicey people.  Because you probably are one and that will blow your “cool” cover.  But don’t avoid them too much, because that’s considered uncool by the cool Christians.  We aren’t without compassion, you know. 

Some would say this thought process isn’t really Christian.

They are just saying that because they are uncool.

These have been deep thoughts from a shallow Christian.

I've spent some time thinking alot about what I've started to see as "Cool Kid Christianity" through some studies in 2 Corinthians.  Paul seems like he's got his back against the wall, dealing with the powerful effects of really gifted, impressive "super-apostles" (you could know them by their capes) who were undermining the genuinely good news of Jesus passed on through his approved followers.  It's an easy trap to fall into (said the guy grabbing on to the tree roots on his way up).  James echoes Paul's concerns as he writes of avoiding favoritism (2:1-13).  I found myself contemplating C.S. Lewis' words that reflect many of the same things.  For Linda Harbison's sake, I've copied them below:

"It is a serious thing, to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no 'ordinary' people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations -- these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit -- immortal horrors or everlasting splendors. This does not mean that we are to be perpetually solemn. We must play. But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously -- no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption. And our charity must be a real and costly love, with deep feeling for the sins in spite of which we love the sinner -- no mere tolerance or indulgence which parodies love as flippancy parodies merriment."

So, back to the group circled in my living room and the next question I asked:  “What feelings do you experience in a deep and meaningful relationship?”  And the group’s answers:

Excitement/Joy

Loved – Not lacking anything

Opposite of lonely

Purpose

Happiness...but sadness too

Ahhhh (contentment/peace)

Approbation [The pastor in the circle did not say this one....but he acted like he knew what it meant.  Good pastor.]

Fulfillment

Freedom...to be myself (without reprobation)  [The pastor added the last part...still trying to sound like he knew what the other word meant.]

Respected [Some in the circle broke out into various renditions of the song that helps us know how to spell that word...as well as furious debate over whether Tina or Aretha did it.  The pastor was right.]

Protected/nurtured

Belonging

Safety

And then the 2 questions that had come to my mind before doing the exercise; one understandable and the other a bit strange:

1. How much of these 2 lists do you experience in your relationship with God?

2. Do you think God longs to experience the things in these lists with you?

Questions and exercises like these are an invitation to me to go deeper with God, just like I’ve experienced with my closest friends.  You know, those friends that will always be a part of your life no matter what life situations change.  My wife and I have started to call them “friends we will die with.”  Sort of reminds me of another “friend” conversation connected with dying.

“Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”  “I have called you friends....” (John 15:13, 15)

May you find Him to be the friend to you that he has said he longs to be.

So, I threw out a question to a group circled in the overstuffed furniture and sprawled out on the California berber in front of our wood burning stove the other night.  I asked “What do you want or need in a deep and meaningful relationship?”  Here’s a summary of our answers:

Companionship

Understanding

Communication [A guy answered this.  Running score: Guys (1), Girls (0)]

2 Way respect

Acceptance

Commonality, but with differences I can celebrate

Similar concerns and convictions

Honesty

Give and take

Trust

Complimentary traits and comparative advantages [A guy answered this.  Running score: Guys (0), Girls (0)]

Listening

Commitment

Love [Yeah, somebody played the trump card.]

Engagement

Humor

Friendship

Someone looking out for my best

Constancy and unconditionality

Duration

As I framed the question, I knew that we would all go back to experiences up to this point in our lives.  It also occurred to me that the negative relationships framed many (or for some, most) of our questions, because many of us around that circle had experienced primary relationships that didn’t have these things....and the sometimes harsh consequences that we had suffered made the conversation tender.  But it was also brightened by the memories of rich relationships, from sometimes unexpected places, that God had blessed us with.

This question opened us up to another question and some other conversation, but I’ll just rest here for now....awash in memories or relationships past and present that God used to fill the “human shaped vacuum” in my heart.  And sure of his provision for the future.

O.K., so I was gently coaxed by one of our website team members that I need to blog more.  Well, pretty much that I need to blog at all.  I responded (read: whined) that I don't do blogs.  I don't read anyone's blog, nor do I expect anyone to read mine...if I did one.  And there's some basic assumptions at the heart of placing my thoughts that will naturally shade toward the personal out in a public forum like this that can draw out some of my demons and drift me in the direction of dangerous waters for my soul.  It feels a little "look at me," sort of like what I have gotten from some Facebook interactions.  Besides I don't like the word "blog."  It sounds like something you'd blow out your nose.  (So now I'm getting really petty.)

But maybe there are some things that can help my fellow travellers.  Especially those who are with me when I make that assumption every Sunday morning.  So here goes.  I will blog more.  I will make attempts to avoid the "rocks" that tend to come up in my meadow, but there you have it.  Now that I've said it here, my sense of duty and probably no little part of my need to be approved will lash me to the blog mast.  (See, I knew the demons were lurking.)  But maybe no one will see it, so I can write with abandon.